It all started when I was 9 years old on a spring saturday, being pent up for the entire winter with the remaining wisps of snow and ice still on the lawn, Byron my best-est friend of all times and I were playing tag in the house, when one to many door slams and furniture crashes happened,
My MOM yelled "GO OUT SIDE NOW"...
great I said, can we...
"AND TAKE THE DOG"....
(my other best friend my black lab)
"can we go to the ..."
"AND DON'T COME BACK ALL WET"
So off we quickly struggled into winter hat, coat, mittens and down to the end of the street where the brook ran out into ADVENTURE land, a forest and a pond out in the closed golf course.
Soon we were kerplunking rocks through the ice and into the pond,
but on the other side of the bridge the ice was thicker having piled up behind the bridge works. And I had an idea, the best practical joke was one that you could win.
Dare you to step out on the ice, ... He gingerly held his foot over the open water to touch the ice flow out a foot from the shore, but broke right through and got hist foot wet. "oh no, now I'm going to get in trouble"
Nope, your not all wet, I replied
And Grabbing Byron's hat from his head I tossed it out on the ice...
"tommy what'd you do that for"
Watch, and I pulled out an old board that was floating near by and steadied it over the open water to the ice. Slowly ever so slowly I crept out on the board and onto the ice.. Picking up the hat in triumph I held it up high as I turned with a Huraph,
But was surprised to see Byron and My dog had followed me, ... and the ice was all wobbly now with the extra weight .. oh this isn't good.
So moving farther away from each other we found washed up long branches and started chopping off pieces and sending them out into the current to float away.
"wow this is really cool" I said as I heard Byron furiously chopping behind me,
Turning I saw a sly grin on his face, and the widening gap between the ice we where on and the shore on the other side. "I dare you to jump across that" he said...
But it was to late, the current was widening the gap, the ice flow was slowly twisting out into the river. with just one peace still touching and the far end we all shuffled carefully down the long peace to the connector, but it started to sink as we got closer so we backed up into the middle again.
With long branches we could paddle the ice flow, "wow we're just like Tom Sawer and Huck Fin "!! this is really great I aid as we started to float across to the other side.
Even my really smart dog was helping, he went to the edge and did the dog paddle. I though that he was the best dog ever, when all of a sudden he broke through the ice.
In a panic he turned and tried to climb up on the ice but instead chop-chop-chopped his way doggie paddle right through the thin ice turning it into two pieces and went to shore to shake off and look on at the two ideats still floating. But Byron was on a small peace, wobbling and sinking, and I was on a big peace slowly floating away.
Then I could read his mind, and I didn't like it.
With the amazing spring of a young youth, he sailed into the air and arched over the open water as I screamed ... NOOOOOoooooooo, and when he landed on my peace long long cracks instantly ran the length of the ice and it shattered into a million tiny peaces and we both dropped into the fridged icy waters of the lake.
Abruptly though we realized that it was only chest deep, so we linked arms and waited to the shore laughing keeping our mittened hands high over our heads.
Walking home we froze to each other, so had to do a mile of 3 legged walk but we were happy that we were not going to get in trouble.
BECAUSE WE DIDN"T GET ALL WET....
Because Our Mittens Were Still Dry !!
Analysis of Story-Slam D Red-Flag Presentation
- Need personal introduction. ? Memorable Nick Name? Oz Ostberg... East mountain strider,
- Hello I'm Oz, usually tell stories about outdoors, but today...
- Better first line
- Make Topic OBVIOUS - " and that was a red flag #1"
- Mom said Don't get all wet "red flag of challenge for a 9year old"
- Better Middle... to many or not enough middle pieces
- "Like Tom Sawer" .. wait till on big ice flow, install
- The "and then"... at wrong piece of story,
- Conclusion, ... friends, froze, Not all wet... more emphasis.